外国网友讨论：中国女人觉得西方男人有吸引力吗？

我想说不是所有的中国女人喜欢外国的男人。这里面也是存在鄙视链的，当然站在鄙视链顶端的是西方发达国家白人男性。鄙视链最低端都还真不是我们自己国家的男性。

说到底，还是因为中国近代以来的贫穷落后，让民族自卑情绪弥漫了一百五十年！

西方国家发达的物质、文化、科技水平，并不是中国短期内能达到的。这种羡慕更加深了大众的自卑感。

所以“中华民族的伟大复兴”并不是一句空洞的口号，事关每个国民个体幸福。

Andreas Alexander, studied at Fudan University

As a man who lived in China for a number of years, speaks fluent Mandarin, and dated many, many Chinese women, my answer is a solid YES. Have I hit on Chinese women who weren’t interested in me? Yes, plenty of times. However, I can’t tell you how many times Chinese women were mesmerized by me and would repeatedly tell me that I’m handsome, even when they just met me.

Some other answers here touched on some key points:

In Chinese culture, the expectation that women cook and take care of their man, is much stronger than in the west, where unfortunately these values are actually thought of as shameful and abusive.

Western men are also viewed as more masculine than Chinese men. I mean, for starters, most Chinese guys unfortunately do not take very good care of their appearance. Going to the gym is only just starting to become a thing now, and even then, it’s mostly middle and upper-class Chinese who go there.

We also can’t ignore the exotic factor. Not only can it be seen as a status symbol to date a western man, but for many Chinese women, it’s extremely intriguing, especially if she has never been abroad or had many interactions with foreigners.

Money is another aspect. The fact is, the majority of employed westerners in China are teaching English. Even in the lowest paid jobs, a foreigner with next to no credentials or experience can be earning more than Chinese university graduates. Another fact, is that women the world over are attracted to the security, fun lifestyle, and options that money can procure.

Finally, despite what is written by other commenters, or said by Chinese women that you pose this question to, I can tell you that the majority of them would at least be open to the idea of dating a western man. Whether you choose to believe that or not is on you.

作为一个在中国生活了多年、说一口流利的普通话、约会过很多很多中国女人的男人，我的回答是肯定的。我是否遇到了对我不感兴趣的中国女性？是的，很多次。然而，我无法告诉你有多少中国女人被我迷住了，甚至在她们刚认识我的时候，都会反复告诉我我很帅。

这里的其他一些答案涉及一些关键点：

在中国文化中，女人做饭照顾男人的期望比西方强烈得多，不幸的是，这些价值观实际上被认为是可耻和不体面的。

西方男性也被认为比中国男性更具阳刚之气。我的意思是，对于初学者来说，不幸的是，大多数中国人不是注重自己的外表。去健身房才刚刚开始成为一种时尚的东西，即便如此，去那里的也多是中国中上层阶级。

我们也不能忽视外来因素。它不仅可以视为与西方男人约会是一种身份的象征，而且对于许多中国女性来说这非常有趣，尤其是如果她从未出国或与外国人有过很多互动。

钱是另一个方面。事实是，大多数在中国就业的西方人都在教英语。即使是最低薪的工作，一个几乎没有学历或经验的外国人也能比中国大学毕业生挣得更多。另一个事实是，全世界的女性都执迷于金钱，认为金钱可以带来的安全感、有趣的生活方式和更多的选择。

最后，不管其他评论者写了什么，或者你提出这个问题的中国女性说了什么，我可以告诉你，他们中的大多数人至少对和西方男人约会的想法持开放态度。您是否选择相信这一点取决于您。

Zhuozhe Li, Data Analyst in NY

I can often tell which Chinese girl is into western guys from the way she talks (yeah, western guys read this and go out and look for them).
1 If this girl has a simplistic view of things and prefers to agree with public trends, she can't resist western men's images forced upon her by western media and movies. She seems to have a hard time to tell the reality from fictions and movies. She often doesn't spend much time on newspapers. This girl is ready to believe whatever you are going to tell them about western men.

2 She has a high opinion of western countries because of frustrations she may have experienced in China (poor family, bad university degree, boring job, or some social disasters). Her parents may not have a good time in China either and often reinforce her opinions that China is not good for her. She basically is looking for a way out of her poor situation.

3 I agree with Annie Wang that 'village girl' has a thing for western men. I am a village boy, so I guess I can say I understand village girls. It is true that some of my fellow village girls married western men and have western boyfriends. I am in NYC for a while. Every time I went back to my tiny town and see western men. I was wondering why they came to this tiny s**ty town. Oh, his girlfriend brought him here.
As a village boy, when I went to big cities, I am nothing. I struggled and worked hard to find a place in big cities for me. If you don't want to work hard and to live a poor life for a while but you still want to be the person who transfers him/herself from village nobody to urban somebody, you got to do something. Marrying a western guy is one of many quick paths you can take.

My cousin married an American man. She is pretty but she was not satisfied with what she had at the time. She went to big cities and got a boyfriend from a rich family. They broke up, and she had to go back and had a local boyfriend who her parents won't let her marry. Her parents wanted to set her and me up (we are not siblings and share 0 % gene pool), but she thinks I am a village boy... She happily married to the American guy who looks good and is well educated by a Chinese standard and they went to U.S. But there is a problem. The guy doesn't have a good job and his salary can barely make the ends meet. My cousin can't work here and her parents happened to become sick suddenly. I was heart broken (you know why). I thought she may have a good life and she thought she found a good life. What if she married a Chinese guy? With her looks, she can easily find a Chinese guy with a good job and at the same time handsome and funny.
I love U.S, but I hate that guy.
I guess this is one example that western men can't help too much.

我经常可以从她说话的方式中看出哪个中国女孩喜欢西方男人（是的，西方男人深谙其道）。

1 如果这个女孩对事物的看法很简单，更喜欢顺应大众的趋势，那么她就无法抗拒西方媒体和电影强加给她的西方男人形象。她似乎很难从小说和电影中分辨出现实。她通常不会花太多时间在报纸上。这个女孩已经准备好相信你要告诉他们的关于西方男人的一切。

2 她对西方国家的评价很高，因为她可能在中国经历过挫折（家庭贫困、大学学历不好、工作乏味或一些社会灾难）。她的父母在中国也可能过得不愉快，并经常强化她的观点，即中国对她不利。她基本上是在寻找摆脱困境的出路。

3 我同意 Annie Wang 的观点，即“乡村女孩”对西方男人很有吸引力。我是村里的男孩，所以我想我可以说我了解村里的女孩。确实，我的一些乡村女孩嫁给了西方男人并拥有西方男朋友。我在纽约有一段时间了，每次我回到我的小镇，看到西方男人。我想知道他们为什么会来到这个肮脏的小镇。哦，他女朋友带他来的。

作为一个乡村男孩，当我去大城市时，我什么都不是。我努力工作，努力在大城市找到适合我的地方。如果你不想努力工作，暂时过着贫困的生活，但你仍然想成为一个把自己从农村人转移到城市人的人，你就得做点什么。嫁给西方男人是您可以采取的众多快捷方式之一。

我表弟嫁给了一个美国男人。她很漂亮，但她并不满足于她当时所拥有的。她去了大城市，交了一个有钱人家的男朋友。后来他们分手了，她不得不回去找一个当地的男朋友，她的父母不让她结婚。她的父母想让她和我安顿下来（我们不是兄弟姐妹，共享0%的基因库），但她认为我是村里的男孩……她幸福地嫁给了一个长得好看、受过中国标准教育的美国小伙子，他们去了美国。但是有一个棘手的问题，这家伙没有一份好工作，他的薪水勉强维持生计。我表妹不能在这里工作，她的父母碰巧突然生病了。我心碎了（你知道为什么）。我以为她可能过着美好的生活，她认为她找到了美好的生活。如果她嫁给了一个中国人呢？以她的长相，她很容易就能找到一个有好工作又帅气又风趣的中国人。

我爱美国，但我讨厌那个人。

我想这是西方男人无法提供太多帮助的一个例子。

Annie Wang, studied at University of California, Davis

A certain type of woman in China, often disparagingly referred to as a "village girl," sees western men as a step up in the world. Although China has no official caste system, breaking through socioeconomic hierarchies is extremely difficult. A hegemonic social structure dictates dating and marriage. To make things additionally complex, it is culturally accepted that families are meddlesome to a degree that Americans would find impossible to believe.

Take, for example, a successful college-educated man from a well-off family. There is virtually no way he would marry a woman who his family did not consider a prestigious match -- prestige is tied with who her family is, what she looks like, the schools she went to, etc. We Americans take for granted that hardly anybody bats an eye at an investment banker who marries a cocktail waitress.

A young woman from rural China with no education, no family money, and no prospects is likely to find a western man highly interesting since she stands almost no hope of "marrying up" (to borrow an Edith Wharton-esque phrase). At best, she'd marry her social equal if she were to marry a Chinese man. But with a man from the west -- she believe she's bettering herself.

Please note that I am not saying all Chinese women are like this. But significant numbers of low and middle income women in China find westerners highly, highly appealing.

中国的某类女性，常常被贬低地称为“村姑”，认为西方男人是世界上的“男神”。中国虽然没有官方的种姓制度，但要突破社会经济等级制度是极其困难的。霸权的社会结构决定了约会和婚姻，让事情变得更加复杂的是，家庭过多的干预个人私事到了美国人无法相信的程度，这在文化上是被接受的。

举个例子，一个来自富裕家庭的成功地受过大学教育的男人。他几乎不可能嫁给一个他的家人不认为无法与其匹配的女人——声望与她的家庭地位、她的长相、她上过的学校等息息相关。我们美国人几乎认为这是理所当然的，任何人都会盯着与鸡尾酒女服务员结婚的投资银行家。

一个来自中国农村、没有受过教育、没有家庭资金、没有前景的年轻女性可能会发现一个非常有趣的西方男人，因为她几乎没有“结婚”的希望（借用伊迪丝·沃顿 (Edith Wharton) 式的一句话）。如果她嫁给一个中国男人，她充其量只能嫁给社会地位平等的人。但是和一个来自西方的男人在一起——她相信她正在改善自己。

请注意，我并不是说所有中国女人都这样。但在中国，相当多的中低收入女性认为西方人极具吸引力。

Robin Matthews, lives in China (2005-present)

Some do. Some don’t.

It isn’t a class based thing though generally - and perhaps against your expectations - a western guy will do least well with Chinese girls in poorer, less developed parts of China - in those places you (a Western male) are much more like a Space Alien than boyfriend material. You will tend to do best in wealthy, international parts of China like Shanghai where many educated and successful women are not very impressed by the local guys and are looking for someone who challenges them more, is funny, is ideally tall and is ready to fall in love!

—/

On the other hand, not many western guys would want to marry a Chinese village girl - she won’t be very hygenic or sexy on average - and she won't speak much English. A western guy looking for a mail order bride is much more likely to go for say a Thai girl who will know how to apply make-up, how to look good, how to shower and will have a smattering of Thai English. Nor will most Chinese village girls want a western guy - other than for a photo op.

The couples you find in china are almost always middle class Chinese girl with middle class Caucasian guy. I've been the guy half of that & it can be rather wonderful. I haven't met any western guys in china dating village girls - but in Thailand there are myriads of bob the builder types “dating” Thai village girls.

有些人会。有些人没有。

一般来说，这不是基于阶级的事情——也许与你的预期相反——在中国较贫穷、欠发达地区，西方男人对中国女孩的没有什么吸引力——在那些地方，你（西方男性）在她们眼里更像是一个太空外星人。你会倾向于在中国的富裕、国际化地区获得更多的眼光，比如上海，那里许多受过教育和成功的女性对当地男人的印象不是很深，她们正在寻找更具挑战性、风趣、理想的高个子并且有魅力的人恋爱！

—/

另一方面，没有多少西方男人愿意嫁给一个中国乡村女孩——她一般不是很卫生或性感——而且她们不会说太多英语。一个寻找猎物的西方男人更有可能选择一个泰国女孩，因为她们知道如何化妆、如何打扮、如何洗澡并且会说一点泰语。大多数中国乡村女孩也不会想要一个西方男人——除了拍照。

你在中国找到的夫妇几乎都是中产阶级的中国女孩和中产阶级的白人男人。我在中国还没有遇到任何西方男人约会乡村女孩——但在泰国有无数的鲍勃建造者类型“约会”泰国乡村女孩。

Val Senan, works at Thefinestman.com

Yes and no.

This is really subjective and up to the person.

From where I come from, I do see a lot of interracial couples.

Is it a norm? Well in my opinion these days I think it is.

People are getting so much more connected than ever before.

The racial barriers have become really thin.

But when it comes to which race prefers the other, it's purely subjective.

Some might say it's based on some theories or science.

I believe it's based on what the particular person finds attractive.

Like what David Deangelo from DOUBLE YOUR DATING SAYS, "Attraction is not a choice."

Humans beings are emotional creatures.

Women especially. They're very intuitive and in tune with their emotions.

Thus, they can't explain why they feel a certain spark when it comes to this one guy they've met.

Men on the other hand can reason things out and sometimes make decisions based on emotions.

So with that understanding, do Chinese women find western man attractive?

I think you've got your answer. :)

是也不是。

这真的很主观，取决于个人。

从我的家乡来看，我确实看到了很多不同种族的夫妇。

这是常态吗？ 好吧，在我看来确实是这样的。

人们的联系比以往任何时候都多。

种族壁垒已经变得非常薄弱。

但是当谈到哪个种族更喜欢另一个时，这纯粹是主观的。

有些人可能会说它基于某些理论或科学。

我相信这是基于特定的人认为有吸引力的东西。

就像 DOUBLE YOUR DATING 的 David Deangelo 所说的那样，“吸引力不是一种选择。”

人是情感动物。

女性尤其如此。 他们非常直观，并且能与他们的情绪保持一致。

因此，他们无法解释为什么当谈到他们遇到的这个人时，他们会感到某种火花。

另一方面，男人可以推理出事情，有时会根据情绪做出决定。

那么有了这样的理解，中国女人会觉得西方男人有吸引力吗？

我想你已经有了答案。 :)

Steven Williams, Teacher at A School Somewhere

From my experience, it depends on a few things.

I personally prefer dating Chinese girls over anybody else, even other Asians. Say what you want, its a personal choice. I've dated Korean, Vietnamese, Malaysian, Singaporean and Filipino girls, as well as “Chinese raised abroad”, a term that Chinese people use because apparently a person who is born and raised in the UK can't be British if they have Chinese heritage (a view I strongly oppose and a term I really dislike, but I guess it just depends on opinion). I mention this because it means I have a little bit of experience in the matter.

根据我的经验，这取决于一些事情。

我个人更喜欢和中国女孩约会，而不是其他地方的人，甚至是其他亚洲人。当然，这是个人的选择。我和韩国人、越南人、马来西亚人、新加坡人和菲律宾人约会过，还有“在国外长大的中国人”，中国人用这个词是因为显然在英国出生和长大的人不能是英国人，如果他们有中国传统（我强烈反对的观点和我非常不喜欢的术语，但我想这只是取决于意见）。我提到这个是因为这意味着我在这方面有一点经验。

Darren Hughes, lives in China (2012-present)

In the main, no - I think the general rule of thumb is that women like in men what they see in themselves, most Chinese women are more than happy being married or being in relationships with Chinese men, however - that’s not to say an attractive western man isn’t able to turn heads nor there aren’t a percentage of Chinese women that prefer western men. There are, but I would say it’s a minority, most Chinese women prefer their own men from my eye.

大体上，不 - 我认为一般的经验法则是，女人喜欢从男人身上看到的自己，大多数中国女性都更倾向于与中国男性建立关系和结婚。然而 - 这并不是说西方男人对她们没有吸引力，也没有一个特定的比例说中国女人喜欢西方男人。 即使有也是少数的，在我看来，大多数中国女性更喜欢自己的男人。

Anonymous

If you look at the statistics, even Asian-Americans tend to marry within their own race.
Asian women who only, or primarily date white men may have this fetishized idea of an ideal western culture, particularly the perceived economic superiority and the fairy tale Chivalric romances of western orgins.

I'm making some major assumptions here, being Chinese-Canadian and having not been to China for many many years. I have very little idea of the social trends and issues present in the country. This is just personal opinion.

如果你看一下统计数据，即使是亚裔美国人也倾向于在自己的种族内结婚。

只是有些亚洲女性与白人约会，她们可能对理想的西方文化抱有这种迷恋观念，尤其是对西方起源的经济优势和童话般的骑士浪漫。

我在这里做了一些主要的假设，我是加拿大华裔，很多年没有去过中国。 我对这个国家目前的社会趋势和问题知之甚少，这只是个人意见。

Fossle

It all depends. When I lived in Midwest, I only met and dated white guys. For years I thought I was only attracted to white guys. But it’s not till about 6 years ago, I met a Japanese American in California, then I realized that it’s not about one’s race you attracted to but his personality and everything else goes with it. I fell head to toe in love with this Japanese guy, more than all the white guys I’ve ever dated. Unfortunately things did not work out for the long run due to his commitment issues. But we had great chemistry on many levels.

这一切都取决于特定的人，特定的环境。 当我住在中西部时，我只认识和约会白人。 多年来，我一直以为我只被白人吸引。 但直到大约 6 年前，我在加利福尼亚遇到了一个日裔美国人，然后我意识到吸引你的不是一个人的种族，而是他的个性和其他一切。 我从头到脚爱上了这个日本男人，比我约会过的所有白人男人都爱。 不幸的是，由于他的承诺问题，从长远来看事情并没有奏效。 但是我们在很多层面上都有很好的化学反应。

Kåre Lohse, thinking outside of the outside of the box

It seems that there are several factors towards this attraction.
Some have already been mentioned, let me add to it:

The way the roles of men and women are in various parts of the world obviously varies a bit. From what I have learned from friends in China, who are generally of those who speak at least a little English, the Chinese are somewhat similar to what it was in the "Western world" some hundreds of years ago.

The women are generally expected to take care of the kids, cooking, cleaning and generally stay at home, and please the husband in any way, without asking too many critical questions.

这种吸引力似乎有几个因素。

有些已经提到了，让我补充一下：

男人和女人在世界各地扮演的角色的方式显然略有不同。 从我在中国的朋友那里了解到的，他们通常至少会说一点英语，中国人与数百年前的“西方世界”有些相似。

女人通常会照顾孩子，做饭，打扫卫生，一般呆在家里，以各种方式取悦自己的丈夫，不会过多过问丈夫的私事。

he men are working a lot, but also allowed to play with their friends (like going out to drink and party).

他们的男人工作通常很忙，但也允许和他们的朋友一起玩（比如出去喝酒和聚会）。

In many western cultures, the share is more equal, also when it comes to education and such.

In this perspective, western women could generally be seen as a bit more demanding and difficult to deal with (heading for cover, flak hat on)

For a western man, and a Chinese women, this is a kind of win-win:

The western man and the Chinese woman both "get more" than they would otherwise expect from their own culture.

在许多西方文化中，男女更加平等，在教育等方面也是如此。

从这个角度来看，西方女性通常会被视为要求更高且难以应对（前往掩护，防弹衣）

对于一个西方男人和一个中国女人来说，这是一种双赢：

西方男人和中国女人都从他们自己的文化中“得到更多”，超出了他们的预期。

To the Chinese women, she would generally be treated with much more respect, than a Chinese man would have done.

To the Western man, he would generally be treated with much more dedication and slack, then if with Western woman.

对中国女人来说，她通常会受到比中国男人更多的尊重。

对西方男人来说，对待西方女人，一般会更加投入和懈怠。

Ahem, maybe not just like that ^, but I guess that applies too!

咳咳，也许不只是那样^，但我想这也适用！

-

I realise this IS a generalisation and could be perceived as prejudiced, but I have heard that from many friends (Chinese women and Western men): Once they tried "dating across", they don't want to come back!

Finally - this can be applied to many other cultures across the world - not just between Western and Chinese. Unfortunately, in many cultures there is a lot of oppression based solely on the sex of a person, and it's usually not in favour of the woman!

我意识到这可能会被视为是一种偏见，但我从很多朋友（中国女性和西方男性）那里听到：一旦他们尝试“约会”，他们就不想回来！

最后 - 这可以应用于世界各地的许多其他文化 - 不仅仅是西方和中国之间。 不幸的是，在许多文化中，有很多只基于一个人的性别的压迫，而且通常不利于女性！

结语

白人媒体很聪明地引导中国人的审美观定义，洗脑中国人觉得自己的平均脸型特征丑，崇拜白人的平均特征。多少人说“高鼻梁好”，“我的脸太宽了”。什么时候中国媒体自己定义的审美观能够让社会崇拜 “平鼻梁”，“宽脸”，“高颧骨”。

文化自信，民族自信，中国男儿当自强。