全球热播50度灰，咱来盘点一下新加坡的50度“衰(sui)”

（新加坡眼：全球热播50度灰，咱来盘点一下新加坡的50度“衰(sui)”！一起来说说你都遭遇过那些“衰(sui)”？）

50-shades-of-suay-singapore-version

新加坡的50度“衰(sui)”

1) Park beside the road for 5minutes to go pee at coffeeshop

在路边停车五分钟直奔咖啡店只因为要去厕所方便

2) Tear parking coupon inthe morning

Tear “PM”

大清早在停车场撕停车固本，TMD撕了张下午的

3) Drive through ERP

Forget to insert cashcard

开车经过电子收费口，才发现卧槽忘记插现金卡（要交罚款）

4) At traffic light see ERP ahead is off

When approaching ERP suddenly turn on

对面路口的电子收费口显示还未进入收费时段，我一开到收费口就变成开始收费

5) Make one wrong turn inCBD

Kena 3 ERPs in a row

不小心开车转进了市中心地段，要过三个收费口才能出来

6) Send car for car wash

Thunderstorm

刚刚洗过车就下大雨

7) Rush to toilet pangsai

No toilet paper

冲进厕所猛然发现里面没有纸

8) Pangsai halfway

Toilet bowl censor doesn’t detect you, flushuntil your backside wet wet

厕所上到一半马桶自动开始冲水也是醉了

9) Pangsai halfway

Toilet motion-censor light doesn’t detect anymovements, switches off the light, finish the 2nd half of my pangsai indarkness

坐在马桶很久不动马桶检测不到有人还在，贴心的给我冲了屁股

10) Puts handphone in mypocket

Drops into toilet bowl

小心的把手机放在裤兜里，还是尼玛滑进了马桶

11) Takes a short nap on MRT

Ended up at Joo Koon

太累了本想在地跌小睡一下，想来一看尼玛都到Joo Koon了

12) Boards bus

Just sit on the only seat then antie stands by me

上车还有最后一个位，高高兴兴坐下来结果就来了个安嫡站旁边

13) Reach bus stop

2 of your buses just left, next bus in 30minutes

风风火火冲到巴士站却只吃到了汽车尾气，下一班车一查半小时

14) About to board bus

Realize wallet is at home

上了公交刚要打卡发现钱包落在家里了

15) Boards bus

Forget to bring Ezlink, no coins in wallet,only got $10 note. Most expensive bus ride ever.

上了公交发现没带公交卡又没有零钱，只有10块的纸币。新加坡最贵公交车费记录了吧

16) Late for school take bus

Kena red lights all the way

上学迟到了还被卡在公交车上，而且一路尼玛都是红灯

17) Alight from bus

Forget to tap Ezlink

下公交没打卡T_T

18) Want to fart silently inMRT

Loud sound came out, followed by something warmand wet

在地铁上想偷偷放个屁，结果巨响而且还感到一个潮湿的暖意，我掩面

19) Morning assembly singMajulah Singapura halfway

Kena bird shit on head. Odds: 1 in 1000students

By Chen YingJun

大早上全校操场上一起唱国歌，不幸被鸟屎砸在头上，全校一千人……

20) Falls asleep in class

Discipline master walks past classroom, kenadetention

上课不小心睡着，教导主任路过教室发现了我，热情的请我“喝茶”了

21) Finish homework

Forget to bring bring to school

By Chi Wing Lah

熬了一整晚终于做完了作业，早上太匆忙结果忘记带去学校

22) Day dreaming about thepretty girl in the next class

Kena called by teacher to repeat what she said

课上突然开小差想起了隔壁班美女，老师就点名叫我复述她刚才讲的内容~%&*

23) Passes love letter togirl you like in class

Kena confiscated by teacher, made to read outthe letter in front of the whole class

By Gooners Mi Bear

课上传情书给妹子，结果情书被老师没收了还被罚当众朗读（矮油不好意思）。

24) Fringe slightly longafter holidays

Kena caught by discipline master go barber,came back to class with no fringe at all and became the class joke of the week

By Yasmeen Eu

假期回来留海稍微长了那么一点儿，就被教导主任拉去理发店剪成了半秃

25) Forget to bring rulerduring math exams

No choice use Ezlink to draw lines

数学考场上发现忘带了尺子没法画直线，于是哥默默拿出了交通卡

26) Chinese compo exam

Open bag and realize I brought Englishdictionary

好好的华文作文考试我特么打开书包一看带的是英文字典

27) Looks at koi fishes inthe school pond

Lost my balance and fell into it

在学校池塘边看金鱼（不是你们想的那样）太入神结果掉了进去

28) Tries to take photo ofpretty girl in school

Flash comes on

想偷拍学校里的美女结果闪光灯出卖了我

29) Took train to work thismorning

Realize that pants never zip, only at lunchtime

大早急急忙忙坐地铁去上班，一直忙到午饭时间在发现裤门拉链没拉

30) Gives up seat to apregnant lady on the train

She gave me a death stare and says she is notpregnant

地铁上给孕妇让座，结果在人家在杀人的目光下和我平静的说没有怀孕，谢我全家

31) Bring umbrella, neverrain

Never bring umbrella, rains

带伞了从不下雨，一不带伞准挨浇

32) Walking home after arainy night

Hear crushing sound, look down, stepped on asnail

雨后的夜晚忙着回家，脚下突然咔嚓一声脆响，踩了一只蜗牛

33) Late for work, no timeto take bus so take taxi

PIE massive jam, taxi fare $50

加班到吐血想打车回家快睡觉，结果被堵在路上花了50块车费

34) Late for meeting

Lift stops at every floor. Client office is on34th floor

开会迟到了啊！！！电梯每层都停啊！！！会议室在34楼啊啊啊！！！！！！

35) Brought laptop home towork for the weekend

Monday morning reach office, realize laptopcharger at home

周末把电脑拿回家苦逼加班，周一到了办公室发现电脑充电器落家里了

36) Spent whole morningworking on report

Computer crash, and you forgot to enableauto-save

By Tan Junwei

忙了一大早写了个报告，电脑突然死机我没有设置自动保存@_@

37) Surfing Facebook inoffice and boss walks past

Alt-tab, ASOS website appears

上班刷facebook发现老板路过，赶紧Alt+tab结果发现换成了购物网页。（不知你还在那里工作么？）

38) Bitch about boss withyour colleague in the lift

Boss was standing behind you

在电梯里和同事吐槽老板，没发现人家就在人群后面……（我不是故意的）

39) Reaches office early

Stares at the closed office door, it’s a publicholiday

起个大早去公司，尼玛发现门都没开，原来是公共假期（还我被窝儿）

40) Dress nicely spray nicecologne for job interview

Steps on dog shit

衣着光鲜的去参加面试，出门就踩了狗屎（莫非要有狗屎运了？）

41) Goes Cineleisure

Bumps into Steven Lim with his red hair,sleeveless top and scarf

去乌节路看电影，偶遇了一头红色头发，身穿无袖衬衫系围巾的Steven Lim（类似于中国的后舍男孩的人物）

42) Queue 30 minutes forPunggol Nasi Lemak

Reach your turn no more chicken wing

排队30分钟为了吃一次榜鹅椰浆饭，到了我这里鸡翅正好被抢完

43) Bring portable phonecharger

Forget to bring phone cable

出门怕没电带着移动电源，结果忘带了充电线

44) Buy wrong 4D number

The one you wanted to buy come out third prize

买4D买错了号，本来想买的号码结果中了三等奖

45) Every week buy samenumber for 4D never strike

One week never buy come out first prize

每星期彩票都买同一个号就是不中，我一个星期不买这号就中奖

46) Play mahjong forget togame

Next round throw for someone else to game

打麻将忘了胡牌，下一轮就点了别人的炮

47) Kena guard duty

On public holiday

好好的公共假期，偏偏轮到我加班

48) Wanna chao geng reportsick in NS for diarrhea

Kena poke backside by MO

NS时候本来想骗病假就说拉肚子，结果被医生爆菊

49) Gives a girl you likeone stalk of rose for Valentine’s Day

Competitor gave her a 99-roses bouquet

情人节鼓起勇气给女神送了朵玫瑰，结果有个小子送了99朵……

50) Confesses to a girl onValentine’s Day

She says she treat you more like a bro…

情人节和心爱的女生告白，收到好哥们卡一张

So if you’ve experiencedmany of these, you can say truly say that you’ve kena “Fifty Shades OfSuay”…

以上就是新加坡的50度“衰”，如果你也有过，不要担心。记得还会有下次哦。

-英文来源于SGAG，新加坡眼翻译整理-