2021哈佛/哥大/耶鲁最佳申请文书出炉！这样写，藤校追着送offer

每年高考结束后，网上总是会流传着那么几篇满分作文，和咱们的操作相似，每年美国大学申请结束后，《纽约时报》都会邀请一些被名校录取的当季申请人投稿自己的申请文书，《纽约时报》会从中精心选出几篇刊登出来。

就在前几天，《纽约时报》刊登了2021年的第一波精选文书，这些出自高中生之手的文书，精彩程度堪比名家短篇自传！

同样写自我介绍，为什么这些学生的文书一举赢得美国TOP大学的青睐？我们距离好学校还差了些什么？

招生官想从文书中看到

学生的个性和观点

不仅仅是平淡的经验介绍

对于国际化教育、留学申请不太了解的小伙伴可能会对文书有一些疑惑，文书难道不是像简历一样的自我介绍吗？介绍清楚个人情况、专业方向、申请原因不就行了？还得像写小说一样做文字包装？有这必要吗？

大家可能知道，申请海外大学或海外研究所需要提交：学术成绩（GPA）、课外活动、推荐信、文书、所获奖项等材料。

其实，那些有能力竞争藤校的学生，他们的学术成绩、赛事成绩、课外活动都是非常出色的，那么，招生官如何从一堆优秀的申请者中，找到最匹配的那一批，文书就起到了很关键的作用。

文书不像学术成绩那样，考多少分就展示多少分，文书是个性化的，在其中，可以读出一个人的特色、追求还有热爱。

你可以写成小说，也可以谈谈你自己的热爱和研究，当然也可以讲自己和申请大学之间的渊源......这是大学招生官了解申请者很好的渠道！

当然你也可以选择写成普通个人陈述的样子，但是想一想像下面这份千篇一律的文书模板，又能展现出多少你的个人特色呢？

这份文书的表述和结构可能和不少学生提交的文书很类似了。

结构不复杂，大概三个部分：

• 我是谁，我对什么专业感兴趣，我参加过多少项目
• 恭维申请的大学，夸大学校声誉高，领域泰斗等等
• 我以后想往什么方向发展，刚好和学校匹配，请给我一个机会

这三个领域的介绍没什么问题，之后我们会分析几篇被世界TOP大学录取的申请者文书，他们想说的，也不过是这些内容，只是他们用了更为巧妙的方式去讲好了自己的成长故事。

很简单的一个比喻，两句话，“我想成为一名工程师”和“成为工程师是我的毕生追求，我曾......我从什么经历中看到......”，实际上，两句话是差不多的意思，只是用了不同的表达。

一句是陈述事实，另一句是表达热爱，作为一个不了解你的人，当然后者的表达会更让人觉得，这个申请者是有备而来，他们对这个专业或者学校有深度了解。

哈佛/耶鲁/哥伦比亚/康奈尔追着送offer

这些学生太会讲故事了

接下来，播播老师就带大家一起看看拿到哈佛大学、耶鲁大学、哥伦比亚大学还有康奈尔大学offer的文书是怎么写的~

哈佛大学

哈佛大学生物科学院录取学生文书：

Language is not the sole domain of humans.

Animals also talk, and over the last few years I have been fascinated by learning two new languages that even foreign language school students have never heard of.

Studying animal languages is very different from learning Korean, Chinese, or Spanish. There are always dictionaries to refer to when I learn human languages, but when learning animal languages I don't have a Google translator to spit out satisfactory answers. In fact, I have to use my own judgment, which combines my mind, heart, and instinct to interpret what I hear.

Tree frogs, specifically Japanese tree frogs and Suweon tree frogs, use songs not just to express their amorous intentions but to survive. While these two species may look physically identical, they are sexually incompatible. So in order to lure the right female, male frogs sing serenades that are distinguishable from other species. Analyzing these serenades at an ecology lab with spectrograms and waveforms, I decoded every pulse of sounds emitted by these ravenous tree frogs into the patterns of numbers to let humans understand their lyrics.

Unlike frogs' mating songs, bats use language not only to communicate but also to navigate and locate insects at night. While flying, bats shoot out biosonar sounds and listen to the echoes that bounce off obstacles to grasp the world around them. Visualizing a world just with sound, I was enchanted by their invisible language when I studied the Greater Horseshoe bat's supersonic echolocation at a wildlife conservation lab. When bats cast nets of invisible words every millisecond during free flight and ziplining experiments, we captured and revealed their dialogue that had neither conjugations nor grammar.

After eavesdropping on tree frogs' and bats' conversations, I discovered that they use languages for survival. The language of the frogs exemplifies power — the stronger and bigger a frog is, the louder it can sing, scaring off all its prey and bravely exposing itself to predators. And for bats, their invisible language is their vision. They silently scream out for help and listen carefully as nature's echoes guide their path. In a sense, animals communicate with other species and with nature.

On the other hand, humans have developed esoteric words, convoluted sentences, and dialects to express their sophisticated ideas and feelings. This amazing evolution has, I believe, isolated us from nature. Now we prefer to live away from wildlife, tending to communicate only among other Homo sapiens sapiens through texts, tweets, and e-mails. Taking a page from Dr. Dolittle's pocket diction, I hope that my work helps us broaden our anthropocentric minds and understand animals who also share our biosphere. If our souls are reconnected with nature, maybe we could hear Mother Nature whisper some secrets about her mysteries that we are too wired or unaware to heed.

In the same way, I want to take risks in learning to communicate with other species beyond human beings and become a multilingual biologist who connects human and animal realms.

Early explorers boldly left the comforts of their homeland to learn the languages and traditions of other cultures. Due to their dedication, these self-taught bilinguals were able to bridge cultures and share values between different communities. In the same way, I want to take risks in learning to communicate with other species beyond human beings and become a multilingual biologist who connects human and animal realms. I wish to venture into the animal kingdom and become a pioneer in mastering and sharing nature's occult dialects with our species. When we finally learn to comprehend and harmonize with nature, we humans might become more humane.

解析：

这位文书作者申请的是哈佛大学动物语言专业。

申请者一上来就表示，“语言这个东西可不是人类独有的，学习动物语言和学习韩文、中文、西语是截然不同的，因为动物的语言不能在谷歌词典找到答案，我们必须用自己的判断来解析自己听到了什么。”

是不是很意外，开篇既没有自我介绍，也没有恭维学校，而是直接在文书的开始抛出一个犀利的观点，向大学表明自己对学习动物语言的浓厚兴趣，同时又用人类语言来对比，展示动物语言的神秘和趣味。

紧接着在第二段，文中写道：“日本树蛙和韩国树蛙用唱歌的方式来吸引异性，以及更好地生存下去，我曾经用函数和波形破译了每个声音的节拍，帮助了人类更好地理解树蛙的语言。”

之后又举例蝙蝠用生物声纳的方式沟通和定位，自己曾在实验室中成功分析了蝙蝠的声纳语言。

这两个案例是申请者在自己的学习热情之上，表达了自己的相关专业经历，向学校展示自己的研究基础和过往经历。

在案例之后，作者又在第四段写了自己的见解和反思。“人类用语言沟通，而研究动物语言能帮助人类更好理解地球和其他生物。”可能很多我们学生的文书中，介绍的部分很多，但是个人观点却很少，这个部分我们可以学习，观点能让招生官更好地认识到你这个人。

最后，作者写到了自己的求学目标，想成为一个能连接人类和其他动物的多语言专家。

整篇内容没有泛泛而谈，也没有恭维和官方套话，而是用了很多自己的具体例子去支撑自己研究动物语言的兴趣、专业和使命感，全篇字数不多，但有理有据，假设播播老师是一个文书审核官，发现这么目标明确，经历丰富的申请者，分分钟也想发offer了！

耶鲁大学

耶鲁大学法学院录取学生文书：

A chaotic sense of sickness and filth unfolds in an overcrowded border station in McAllen, Texas. Through soundproof windows, migrants motion that they have not showered in weeks and children wear clothes caked in mucus and tears. The humanitarian crisis at the southern border exists not only in photographs published by mainstream media, but miles from my home in South Texas.

As a daughter of immigrants, I have heard countless stories of migrants being turned away by a country they desperately seek to love. After seeing the abhorrent conditions migrants face upon arriving in the U.S., I began volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and provides necessities to undocumented immigrants. This year, my experiences collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens have made me realize that the communities in South Texas promote true American values of freedom and opportunity. The U.S. government, however, must do better.

During my university career, I aspire to learn how our immigration system can be positively reformed by considering the politics and economics that shape policy-making. Particularly, classes such as Institutional Design and Institutional Change will prepare me to effect change in existing institutions by analyzing various methods to bolster the economy.

Additionally, I hope to join the Yale Refugee Project that volunteers at the southern border and prepares asylum cases for court. With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system.

解析：

这篇申请耶鲁法学院的文书，全文只有250字，讲述自己的过去，现在以及在耶鲁的未来，又是一篇看完想追着给offer的文书。

“在德克萨斯麦卡伦，一个过度拥挤的边境站，充满着疾病和污秽的混乱场面。通过隔音窗看到，移民们已经好几个星期没有洗澡，孩子们也穿着破旧不堪、浸透了泪水的衣服。”

这个开头很有可读性了，看起来是小说剧情，但是对于美国南方移民政策有所了解的，大概就会知道，这位申请者描述的是在美国南方不合理移民政策下，新移民的生活困境。

场景描写后，作者就给出了事实陈述，“南部边境的人道主义危机不仅仅存在于主流媒体发布的照片中，而是切切事实地发生在我家附近几英里的地方。”

在第二段中，作者就表明了自己移民二代的身份，同时也介绍了自己4次加入志愿者项目活动帮助移民。

作者用生活背景以及支援服务，作者向学校传达出自己对美国南部移民政策的关心，并不是来自网络，也不是一时冲动，而是长期亲身经历后的决定，她希望自己能够为移民们实际地做一些事情。

在之后的段落中，作者又介绍了自己曾经的移民法学习方向——通过政策和经济方向去改革移民系统，紧接着，她说到耶鲁的制度设计及改革课程能够帮助她做好改善南部移民法的准备。

这篇文书的一个很大亮点，在于作者用很有画面感的文字介绍自己对专业的感情，之后的部分，包括社会活动、学校专业匹配等等，其实在我们自己的文书中也经常有体现，但是这位作者的特殊之处在于，她在文章中很明确地介绍了自己的发现，以及耶鲁大学和自己匹配的具体课程，让读者感觉，她是有备而来，本身就已经是具有一定专业能力准律师，进入耶鲁，将为她和学校加分。

哥伦比亚大学

哥伦比亚大学行为心理学专业录取学生文书：

The flickering LED lights began to form into a face of a man when I focused my eyes. The man spoke a ruthless serial killer of the decade who had been arrested in 2004, and my parents shivered at his reaccounting of the case. I curiously tuned in, wondering who he was to speak of such crimes with concrete composure and knowledge. Later, he introduced himself as a profiler named Pyo Chang Won, and I watched the rest of the program by myself without realizing that my parents had left the couch.

After watching the program, I recited the foreign word until it was no longer unfamiliar—”profiler”. I stayed up all-night searching the meaning; my eyes sparkled with the dim light of the monitor as I read the tales of Pyo Chang Won and his Sherlock-like stories. From predicting the future of criminals and knowing the precise vicinity of a killer on the loose, he had saved countless lives; living in communities riddled with crimes in my youth then and even now, I dreamed of working against crimes. However, the traditional path of a lawyer or a police officer only reinforced the three-step cycle of arrest, trial, and jail which continued with no fundamental changes for years; I wanted to work with the psyche of criminals beyond courts and wondered about the inner workings of the mind.

Such admiration and interest led me to invest my time in psychology. Combined with working with the likes of the Victim Witness Agency, I decided to pursue psychology as my major for my undergraduate education. Later on, I want to specialize my research and education on behavioral/forensic psychology and eventually branch out to my childhood dream of becoming a criminal profiler.

解析：

这篇文书很短，用了一段内容讲了自己为什么会想学习行为心理学，这个作者可能是一位韩国学生，他在开头说到了他的学习灵感是来自于韩国犯罪心理学家Pyo Chang Won，作者用很具画面感的文字，描写出了犯罪心理学家的工作场景，他被这种解读犯罪行为的职业所深深吸引，立志要成为一名“犯罪分析师”。

在之后的段落中，作者写到“我小时，甚至现在，都生活在充满犯罪的社区里，我梦想着打击犯罪。”然而，作者认为，传统的律师或警官关注点都犯罪发生之后的，而作者希望成为分析师，在更多罪恶发生之前，制止他们。

在文章的最后，作者介绍了自己的未来规划，从心理学到犯罪行为学，最终成为“犯罪分析师”。

这篇文书的精彩之处，也是在于“讲好一个故事”，一个简简单单的求学计划，写得像成长小说一样，有故事、有细节、有分析、有规划，拿到哥伦比亚大学录取也是水到渠成吧！

康奈尔大学

康奈尔大学哲学专业录取文书：

“Give me liberty or give me death!” When I first read this quote, I got shivers. As a fourth-grader, I remember thinking: “How could one love liberty so much that they would give up their own life?” To me, American revolutionaries were too passionate about paying taxes and I shrugged off their fervor for liberty. But five years later, I found myself asking the same question.

During my freshman year of high school, I became completely engrossed in learning about the Atlantic Revolutions. From studying the Storming of the Bastille to Haitain independence, I noticed that people sacrificed everything for freedom. It was soon that I learned about Enlightenment philosophers and the role they played in spurring revolutions by inspiring others to challenge social and political norms. I was amazed that philosophy had the power to mobilize entire populations and positively reform nations. But as I reflected on the circumstances of social inequality and political corruption that led to these revolutions, I realized that philosophy is not just a powerful practice of the past; it is just as relevant today.

The United States is a country of contradictions. We boast values of equality and justice, yet our prison, immigration, and education systems are rife with inequity and corruption. I seek a philosophy education to lend me an understanding of existing power structures and how to create a more equitable society. There is no better place to further my educational career than at the Sage School of Philosophy, the birthplace of the first philosophical review in our country. Cornell’s long-standing commitment to approaching philosophy in a holistic manner is evident in its wide range of courses offered. Specifically, I am drawn to the Discussion of Justice course that focuses on current political controversies such as immigration and racial inequality, both issues I care deeply about. After witnessing the cycle of poverty that plagues my community, I see that our society is facing a moral dilemma. This course will enable me to question the values held collectively by our society and recognize the impact such values have on minority groups.

With a greater understanding of morality and social inequality, I hope to pursue a career in civil law rights, helping underrepresented groups in our country receive the justice they deserve. It would be a privilege to begin my career in law by learning the Philosophy of Law from Professor Julia Markovitz. Professor Markovitz’s expertise in moral reasoning will push me to consider the ethical problems that lawyers face and how to fairly represent those in need. I am energized by this course’s goal to not only learn the law, but also challenge it. Building a fairer future relies on changing current institutions based on the government’s moral obligation to its people. I am eager to study philosophy through a career-oriented lens that enables me to apply my learned knowledge to the field of law.

Among the many political issues our country is facing, I am motivated to learn more about global migration. Just miles from my home in South Texas, the humanitarian crisis at the southern border has shown me the complexity of migration. This year, my experiences volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and aids undocumented immigrants, have given me insight into the poverty and violence that many are trying to escape from. To those arriving from the southern border, migration is not a choice; it is a matter of survival. On a larger scale, with rising global temperatures creating climate change refugees and international wars rendering thousands of people homeless, I crave a more extensive understanding of the factors that prompt migration. I plan to pursue a minor in Migration Studies in order to learn how populations can be sustained and thrive in a constantly moving world. Taking classes at the Mario Einaudi Center for International Studies will allow me to interact with students and faculty from other colleges on campus. I believe there are a myriad of factors that drive international migration; thus, working with students from all disciplines will expose me to a diversity in research that can shape future immigration policies. As a daughter of immigrants, I am moved by Cornell’s dedication to supporting education on migration, namely through launching ‘Migrations’ as the theme for Cornell’s first Global Grand Challenge. By researching, teaching, and engaging with communities to tackle the challenges of migration, I am excited to be part of a generation of activists that assist and empower migrants.

Today, the passion American revolutionaries had for change is no longer perplexing to me. I, too, am ready to enact change in our country and society. With Cornell’s College of Arts and Sciences’ broad curriculum that encourages me to explore my many interests, I am confident that I will have the resources to improve our world in a truly revolutionary way.

解析：

这篇文章的开头用了一句美国革命家帕特里克·亨利的经典名言：Give me liberty or give me death（不自由，毋宁死）。

这句话用得很巧妙，一句话点明了整个文书的重点，另一层作用是借助这句话，在文书的开头介绍清楚自己与法律、哲学之间的渊源。

在接下来几个段落中，作者又写到自己在高中参与过一些历史事件研究案例，比如有大西洋革命、巴士底狱革命等，从中与历史人物产生了思想共鸣，看到当时的人民通过革命推动了整个社会的思想发展，并改变了整个社会。

接下来，她又抛出问题，这些来自18世纪的精神理念如何应用到今天？她接着开始分析美国的现代社会，她认为，美国是一个充满矛盾的社会，社会鼓吹平等和公正，但是在监狱、移民以及教育系统中充满着腐败和灰色地带，作者希望自己能够通过哲学学习去了解现存在执政体系，以及找到推动社会平等发展的方法。

这句说完，作者恭维了一句，“没有比在康奈尔大学更好的地方来发展我的教育事业了。”接下来，申请者没有单纯地夸学校声誉高，或者哲学系世界知名之类的，她很具体地给出了一些细节，比如说康奈尔是美国第一部哲学评论的诞生地，还说到了学校哲学系教授Julia Markovitz的研究方向，正是自己的未来想要发展的方向等等，借着这些“客套话”，表明自己在申请学校前，做了很多功课。

在最后两段，作者又说到了现代美国存在的一些实际政策问题，尤其是在移民方面。这位申请者和耶鲁法学院的申请者身份类似，也是移民二代，她未来想要发展的方向是民法权利方向，希望通过人民法的角度去帮助弱势群体发声并获得应有的权利。

这篇文书相比另外几篇是比较传统的，出色的地方在于作者借助自己的研究项目案例，展示出自己对法律的理解，还有她对未来专业学习和职业发展的规划，非常清晰并且坚定，这一些方面很打动人，我们在写文书的时候，或许也可以少一些没有波折的数据陈列，而多一些带着个人情绪的期待和目标。

写不出精彩的文书

或许是因为没有精彩的想法

放手让孩子去做一个有趣的人

看完四篇名校申请文书，大家有没有发现其中的一些规律，其实从文章结构上来说，是很简单的，无非是回答，“我是谁，为什么选择这个领域，为什么这个学校”这三个问题，真正让文章变得眼前一亮的是，具有个人特色的观点和表达方法。

图片来自pexels

可能大家都有看过这样的新闻：

据《东南快报》，王同学从小就喜欢吃泡面，有次去新加坡，吃了一袋泡面后觉得“整个世界观都被颠覆了”，之后尝遍各国泡面，在他申请美国学校时，他把这段经历加了进去，最后被美国罗切斯特大学录取，招生官还特地录取邮件中表达了对他“泡面狂热”的赞赏。

还有《长江日报》的一则新闻，一位能折出上百种纸飞机的同学，在给美国高校的申请资料中，介绍了自己有折叠和研究纸飞机的爱好，没想到引起校方的关注，顺利录取后，学校还将录取通知书也折叠成纸飞机邮寄过来。

结合上面的文书以及这两个案例，大家可能会疑惑，难道申请高校必须要有点奇奇怪怪的兴趣？

奇怪兴趣不一定，但是看重学生个性、特色，却是真的。

尤其是世界TOP大学，成绩优秀的学生他们见过太多了，但是一个真正优秀的人，一定不会只有成绩，他们还有自己的追求和兴趣。

这可能是很多亚洲及中国孩子的短板了，因为长久以来的教育习惯，都是在培养学生成为一个不张扬、合群、优秀的学生，很多时候，孩子也不知道自己喜欢什么，要追求什么，这也是为什么很多文书都仅是平白的陈述，没有故事，也没有细节，不是孩子写作不行，而是孩子自己没有体会，没经历，没观点，很难去写出花样来。

当然，最终能否进入心仪学校，光靠文书是不够的，学术成绩是门槛指标，而文书、作品等代表着学生软实力的材料，可能是最后一步的决定卡。

今天播播老师和大家分享文书，并不是在辅导留学，只是希望提醒各位家长，在培养孩子时能够多多关注这几个方面：

1.要放手让孩子找到发自内心想要做的事情，不可总是对他们的兴趣指手画脚、评头论足；

2.若是你的孩子还没有热情，建议父母耐心等待，大胆放手给他们空间与时间，父母太过焦急帮孩子安排妥当的人生，到最后反而会使得他们陷入茫然；

3.帮助孩子发现他们的闪光点，在他们退缩的时候，适当地助推一把。

这些打动名校招生官的文书也不是一天“写”成的，具有深度和趣味的思想需要长期慢慢培养，如果，各位爸妈对国际化教育、海外留学以及教育培养依旧一头雾水，那不如把这个难题抛给我们！