最近,有一些家长反映:孩子的英语作文要提高太难了,总是会遇到瓶颈,之后不管怎么报班也没有用。那么这是为什么呢?
因为单单讲解方法论的讲座和课堂对于作文的实际提高并没有明显用处啊。“少壮功夫老始成,”英语写作能力的提高,在于日常生活中对于每一个遣词造句的积累。如果脱离了这种逐字逐句的积累,万丈高楼是不可能平地起的。
为此,我仅用一个13岁的在新加坡就读的男生的英文作文为例,带着大家看看他的写作具体是怎样提高的。
学生的作文原文:
“Today is Danny’s tenth birthday. I decided to wake up early to celebrate her. When I was turning my clothes, the door suddenly opened and a woman came in. Oh, that’s my mum. “What’s the matter, Mum?” I was very very 疑惑.My mum never came to my room so early. My clock told me that it was just half past five. It was so strange. “I want to ask the question to you, too.” She looked at me with a smile. “I… Ijust want to prepare the birthday party with you.”I said while I was putting on my T-shirt, “Yep, we want to give her a surprising party this time, so you …” I smiled with a great shock. When I finished my breakfast, Danny came out of her room with her new dress. “Hey, Rain, do you know what day is it today?” I thought and said, “It’s Saturday, of course.”“No, I mean, which thing is special in this day?” She asked with an anticipation. 我强忍心中的笑意 and said “We don’t need to go to school. Other things are just like normal days. Oh, Mum and Dad said they had a lot of works to do, just like me. We will come back tomorrow or maybe tonight. You can use the money on the table to have lunch and play in the play ground. Mum left it to you. It was my money? Take care of yourself.Goodbye!” I waved my hand to Danny, and rushed out of the home. ”
讲评:作为13岁的小朋友,可以写出这样一大段故事已经是非常优秀了,虽然有些内容他不会表达,用中文做了补充。那么,这一段故事都经历了什么样的修改呢?请看下文:
Today is Danny’s tenth birthday. I decided to wake up early to celebrate with her. When I was changing my clothes, the door suddenly opened and a woman came in. Oh, that’s my mum. “What’s the matter, Mum?” I was verysuspicious. My mum never came to my room so early in the morning. My clock told me that it was just half past five. It was so strange. “I want to ask you something.” She looked at me with a smile. “Can you prepare the birthday party with me?” While I was putting on my T-shirt, I answered, “Yep, we want to give her an awesome surprise party this time!” I smiled slyly.
When I finished my breakfast, Danny came out of her room with her new dress.
“Hey, Rain, do you know what day is it today?”
I thought a bit and said, “It’s Saturday, of course.”
“No, I mean, what is special about this day?” She asked with anticipation.
I fought hard to hold in my laughter and said “We don’t need to go to school. Other than “”that, it’s just like a normal day. Oh, Mum and Dad said they had a lotof work to do, just like me. We will come back tomorrow or maybe tonight. Youcan use the money on the table to have lunch and play in the playground. Mumleft it for you. Take care of yourself. Goodbye!”
讲评:这一段内容,都经历了哪些修改呢?
(1)按照故事的内容层次,进行了分段。如上所示。
(2)不会表达的内容,已经加上了英语表达。
(3)表达不当的词语已经被修改过了。
通过比较学生的原文和上文中蓝色字体的部分,我们发现,对于文字进行分段分层,以及结构方面的调整,是学生快速可以掌握的内容。但是,对于英语的正确恰当的表达,要落实到每一个单词的层面,这个是日积月累的功夫,不是按照方法论可以完成的任务。比方说,“与她一起庆祝”是celebrate with her,而不是celebrate her。再比方说,“换衣服”是change clothes 而不是turn clothes。在英汉翻译中,change和turn都有“改变”的意思,但是“换衣服”的搭配应该是change 而不是turn。因此,英文的地道表达,并不是英汉翻译这么简单,而是要在日常的生活和学习中逐渐积累,才能做到。
从这个方面来说,英文作文的提高,是时间和努力的函数,并没有什么短暂的技巧和秘笈可言。
陆游说得好:
古人学问无遗力,少壮工夫老始成。
纸上得来终觉浅,绝知此事要躬行。
大家加油!